


He'll Never Know

by Princess_Reynolds



Category: Homestuck
Genre: But not too sad, M/M, Nobody Dies, Sadstuck, They've been dead, just like oh dang yeah he will never know, too bad for him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-27
Updated: 2014-08-27
Packaged: 2018-02-15 00:06:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2208141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princess_Reynolds/pseuds/Princess_Reynolds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat has been wandering dream bubbles. He meets John, or, a John, he supposes either way. John lets in on the big whoop from his timeline; it surprises and interests Karkat to say the least.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He'll Never Know

You don't know where you're going and now it really fucking doesn't matter. Not in the slightest as long as it's away from everybody else in this retarded bubble land of death and drooling idiots. Makes you so angry you want to slam your thinkpan into the nearest hard surface till you forget what has become of your life.

The halls you pass through are uninteresting and stark. Concrete floor and stairs blend into pavement; stale gave away to fresh crisp air. You looked up from glaring at the ground. The sky was bluer then you've ever seen it. You give your location a once-over and become quiet confused as to where you are. Serious, where the fuck are you now? Hives with their lawnrings organized neatly down the street. Pitch white buildings cut with the same cookie cutter till the very middle.

Same as the others except for a slime green thing. On closer expection it appears to be some sort of lusus nature. Most likely dead and impaled on a spring to warn others. It gives you an odd feeling in your blood pump.

You decide to not look at it anymore when a strong gust of wind blows you almost completely over. It makes you shake. Like someone's hand caressing your whole. You glance behind yourself and come face to face with blue. Blue blinks at you and suddenly everything around blue clears up to form a boy.

His god tier outfit is outrageous and so are his eyes. Your blood pump is banging in your ears. When did it start that? He smiles warmly at you with a look of relief. What? What the fuck is that look for? Your body doesn't comply with your brain; it does your actions for you. "John?" you whisper like it was suppose to the best kept secret in the world. Suddenly his smiles falls to the floor and your blood pump attempts to join it on the dirt. "You're alive." It has a certain tint on it, his words. Can be it you're cursed with the ability to bleed blood and feel pyhsical pain? "What?" you mumble out.

John sighs and turns from you. He looks around slowly. Like he has been here before, looking again and again. Winds blow through between him and you. Back and forth quickly, breathing in and letting out small sighs, "You must be a different Karkat then. My Karkat is dead. Not my Karkat." Before you have time to stop yourself you angrily blurt out, "What do you mean 'Your Karkat', I don't fucking belong to you." If he wasn't right in front of you, you'd punch yourself in the face. Especailly after the small dismal grin he sends your way. "I see that becoming god tier and dying for good doesn't change who you are. You're-oh I guess he was exactly like you."

"What the fuck are you trying to say?"

"I'm from a different timeline then I guess? Or maybe you are? Dave is always coy when I try to get him to explain to me. In my time, Kar-you, and me were matesprits. Well, more like boyfriends, but you always said to call it matesprits. You were god tier when we first met and I don't know something happened and! Fuck, when I came back you were dead. I've been looking for you inside these fucking useless bubbles for ages!"

John turns back to you only looking a little broken up. Wind ruffles his clothes and hair as though it were trying to console him. You might break a sweat even though you're cold if he keeps staring at you like that. Like he needs you. He needs _you_ , but not you. He needs apparently the Karkat who went god tier like you _failed_ to do and _died once more_. He died John's matesprit.

John's voice is completely sober of emotion when he asks you plainly, "So you haven't seen my Karkat then?" You hear the sigh that comes out of you somewhat quiver. "If I did, don't you think I'd fucking tell you? . . .That I saw your matesprit..."

This had made a huge difference to you at the moment. It may have been a different timeline, different life exclusively, but you _had_ a matesprit. And if John finds the _right_ you, you _may still have one..._ _Technically_. You successfully got someone to put up with your dumb shit; they learned to ptiy you. And that person was John nonetheless. Fucking amazing. Suddenly the John you had watched and thought about from time to time seemed different. _Yeah_. You'll admit it, you thought that if it was ever going to be John and you, it was going to be brutal and deliciously _black_. Never _red_. Yet here is the proof that it could work, and if it did, _it would be red_. You wanted to ask John a billion questions. Why it happened? What the deceased fuck happen to homo-or-whatevers? Why John chose him, what they did together as matersprits. You wanted to know it all.

Your feet had moved you closer to him, close enough to reach out and pull him close. John doesn't seem to mind. As he shouldn't, if you two were matesprits afterall. John should be utterly and totally _comfortable_ with your presence. Intense blue eyes stare into your's with somber longing. You start to wish you bring him the right Karkat. You reach up and slowly move to give him a hug. John realizes your intentions, and while he still looks upset, he reaches for you too. Before either of you even touch each other the feeling of being shaken is waking you up.

Suddenly everything, including John, vanishes and goes black.

Karkat groans and waves away the pestering hand. He sits up on the mostly uncomfortable horn pile. Kanaya hands him a cup of water; it goes down cold and quenches his dry throat. "You seemed to be in distress. You told me to waken you if anything seemed to be wrong." With a quick sigh Karkat grumbles to her "Yeah Kanaya. I remember, I told you right before I fucking foolishly decided to sleep on this fucking horn pile." A few horns let gasping honks as Karkat stands up to stretch. Something blue catches his eye, and he snaps his head to look directly at it. Terezi's and Dave's doodles on the wall. A messy blue John smiles at Karkat. Unlike the John he met in the dream bubbles. He almost feels the need to grab a piece of black chalk and draw dead god tier him next to John. So that he has an actual reason to smile. Karkat walks out, the feeling of dread eating him. He'll never know how it would be to be John's matesprit. He sits at his husktop, staring at his chumhandle. John's chumhandle grayed out to say he wasn't online. How did it start? Would they met after the 3rd year and immediately see that they were made for each other? Or would it be a whole lot of running around and growing up to a full of flush? Karkat thought back to dream John. He'll never know what could have been.

**Author's Note:**

> I think I wrote this cause some tumblr user that was famous for drawing Johnkat was getting Johnkat ficlets in their asks and sent to them. They really enjoyed the sad ones, and I think they themselves gave this prompt? I merely wrote it, or I may have just wrote it off my own ideas. I have no idea. It was a long ass time ago man. Either way yo. I wrote this long ass time ago for who knows what, why, and how did I ever manage to finish is what I want to know. Later dude.


End file.
